Okay after hours of hardcore research and trial and error i have found the solution to change the video time using LoaderMax.
I am sharing this code to help ease someone elses frustration with the documentation -.-
Forgive any sloppyness, i have only one two days experience in AS.
make sure you declare your video as so:
var video:VideoLoader = new VideoLoader("fly.mp4", {name:"myVideo", container:this, width:800, height:450, scaleMode:"proportionalInside", bgColor:0x000000, autoPlay:false, volume:0, requireWithRoot:this.root, estimatedBytes:75000, autoDetachNetStream:true,onProgress:progressHandler});
Then once the stream is detatched you can call this to set the video play to where ever your heart desires (i am using mine with a seek bar).
video.videoTime = 200;
This is equivelent to doing
_NetStream.seek(200);
You may notice slower load times when detatching the ns from the viewloader, but it works fine the way i need it to.
WHEW... frustration finally paid off..